Spontaneous Poetry: Not always a bad thing

Andy says:

*MOTHERFUCKING SOLO!
*Jesus is that guy too good
*He shouldn't be allowed

Lee says:
*Barnaby Jones and his Fortress of Swing

Andy says:
*The new book
*By Harold Shipman

Lee says:
*It's a poem in the making
*It's got quite a rhythm to it
*Bar-na-by Jones and his For-tress of Swing

Andy says:
*Much like a jagged dinosaur

Lee says:
*Barnaby Jones and his Fortress of Swing
*A harrowing tale one must shout and must sing
*Racing through time in a big yellow coat
*There's an owl with a meter stick perched on his boat
*Where oh where will the Swing Fortress stop?
*In front of MacDonald's and some other shop.
*Barnaby Jones steps out into the store
*With an owl underarm and potentially more
*I should stop

Andy says:
*Until you pop
*And an old man starts to glare
*As Harold removes his underwear

Lee says:
*Harold's old boxers are made out of zinc
*And sausage and mash and cotton, I think

Andy says:
*A truly bizarre state of affairs
*That leads to a sexual lust for old stairs

Lee says:
*Putting one's cock on the stairs is a task
*It's best to protect it by wearing a flask

Andy says:
*One not tried by the faint of heart
*A task no novice is likely to start

Lee says:
*You must hammer it, twist it, *clunk clank and plink*
*It's much easier to just put your knob in the sink
*But think of the germs! The plates and the mess!
*It makes us erect, we all must confess

Andy says:
*A deed that I often commit
*Even when my penis refuses to fit

Lee says:
*Some try the kettle, or pans and a pot...
*My penis was skinned - it's just far too hot

Andy says:
*Others will slam genitals in doors
*But it's not advised as the blood often pours

Lee says:
*This talk of penis is making me tire
Let's speak of magnesium, of foxes and wire

Andy says:
*Items a true fisherman aspires to own
*Even if the neighbours are likely to moan

Lee says:
*Throw them all in a box, step back and you'll see
Your legs will transform into iced raspberry tea
*A physical state that makes fishing a chore
*It's best to forget it, just go to the store

Andy says:
*But beware of the store, the shopkeeper's mad
*He still claims to be Richie Blackmore's new dad
*With a handful of nails and a mug full of noodles
*The shopkeeper's best known for killing his poodles

Lee says:
*A deed not forgotten by his wife and his kid
The poodles were raped and then punched to Madrid

Andy says:
*The Spaniards came out, ablaze with their rage
*And built the shopkeeper a really shit cage

Lee says:
*The Shopkeeper roared in a flustery splutter
"MY KNEECAPS ARE CROOKED AND COVERED IN BUTTER!"

Andy says:
*Unaware of the damage from this
*The Spaniards all celebrated, starting to kiss
*When all of a sudden from out of the sky
*Came rocker Mick Jagger, wielding beef pie

Lee says:
*The Spaniards all gathered, their mouths were agape
Mick Jagger flew lower, flaunting his cape
*The pie was delightful, all crispy and brown
But then Mick fell in it and started to drown

Andy says:
*The gravy he sank in was just far too thick
*He struggled and sank as he fondled his dick

Lee says:
*The pie was now tainted, the Spaniards did flee
The shopkeeper was left, with Mick and a tree

Andy says:
*With blood on his hands and his new found guilt
*The shopkeeper proceeded to roll up a quilt

Lee says:
*He packed it up tight and rode it back home
But his quilt was too fast and ran over a gnome

Andy says:
*He arrived in Italy, tired and worn
*Followed by Harold, a gnome-lover scorn

Lee says:
*He put on his hat and then turned into dust
Harold fell over and died from disgust
*This would not have happened, were it not for one thing
Fuck Barnaby Jones and his Fortress of Swing
**Lightning*
*THE END

Andy says:
*That was excellent as fuck